For the past week, I’ve been in training. And while I like the change of pace and the opportunity to learn something new, I always seem to find that, though my fellow students are all in their 30s and above, they seem to revert to the roles I’m positive they played as paste-eating six year olds in the classroom decades ago.
These roles can be broken down into the following annoying categories:
–The Class Clown: From the moment you sit down at 8 am until the minute you leave at 4:30, the Class Clown is cracking wise. The problem, of course, is that the Clown is rarely funny. Though, to be fair, a class on real property isn’t exactly a comedic gold mine.
–The Know-it-All: “Oo, oo, I know the answer, teacher, I know!” The oft-heard cry of the Know-it-All. The one thing the Know-it-All doesn’t seem to understand? That almost everyone else also knows the answer, but feels that the question is so elementary, it’s practically rhetorical. The K-i-A proves that you’re never too old to want to dip the tip of someone’s ponytail in glue.
–The Rebel: Rolls in late, may or may not return after lunch, sits in the back. Will probably fail the test, but doesn’t care–the Rebel will be here again next week, since the Rebel’s boss can’t stand the sight of him/her.
–Mr./Ms. Kumbaya: Mr./Ms. Kumbaya makes friends instantly with the people he/she will know for five days. Kumbaya arranges group lunches and coffee breaks and asks everyone for their email addresses so they can “keep in touch.” It’s best to give this person a fake email address, preferably a very long one with an expletive hidden within.
–The Stage Whisperer: The Whisperer talks incessantly in their version of a whisper, which is somehow always loud enough to be heard by the entire class. And though their comments often have to do with the material, they are completely disruptive and beyond annoying. The Stage Whisperer always ends up sitting next to me.
–The Space Cadet: Finally, the Space Cadet. Easily distracted by things like shiny objects and sudden noises (the HVAC turning on and off is a jarring hourly event), the Cadet will raise his/her hand to ask or answer a question, and will then ramble incoherently for two or three minutes before the teacher decides it’s time to rein in the crazy.
After a week in class, I find it’s best to embrace the foods I find most comforting. This week, it was Shrimp Fried Rice from Annie’s Eats.
The recipe is simple. The ingredients are common. The process is repetitious and the result is yummy in my tummy. It will remind you of fun nights in college, balancing plastic bowls of Chinese food in your lap while talking with friends into the wee hours of the morning. It will remind you of moving into your first place, when you sat on boxes of books and ate with plastic utensils. It’ll be Chinese food bliss, and you won’t even have to scrounge up change for the delivery guy. That’s what I call a great meal.