Do you remember when I blogged about my annoying neighbor? The one who would pound down our door to ask inane questions? Well, she’s gone.
No, I didn’t do anything to hasten this move (though incessantly knocking on her door at 5 am–to counter her 10 pm rappings–did cross my mind more than once). Apparently she got a new job in Boston. Score.
And just a week or two after she vamoosed, a new neighbor took her place. One who always parks her car crooked in the garage, practically blocking the door to the stairwell beside it, and has two tiny flower boxes hanging from her 25′ long porch. But you know what she doesn’t do? Beat down our door or interrupt our evenings. So, clearly, I love her. Even though–technically–I’ve never seen her.
Being the stellar neighbor that I am, I’ve decided to kick it old school and show up with baked goods at her front door so that I can finally meet my new best bud (that I, in actuality, will spend zero time with). I’m hoping the exchange will go something like this:
Me: Hello, new neighbor! I brought you delicious chocolate chip cookies à la Alton Brown as a “welcome to the condo building”–from me (and my husband) to you. They’re called “The Chewy,” and they absolutely live up to their name. Seriously. They’re the chewiest, yummiest cookie in all the land.
New Neighbor: Thank you! I will never knock on your door (unless I am dying) and will never EVER consider turning up the bass on my stereo at 3 am. In fact, I’m a nun and have taken a vow of silence that I am allowed to break only once every ten years and am breaking now for this very conversation. End communication.
I’ll let you know how it turns out.