alton brown’s “the chewy”

Do you remember when I blogged about my annoying neighbor?  The one who would pound down our door to ask inane questions?  Well, she’s gone.

No, I didn’t do anything to hasten this move (though incessantly knocking on her door at 5 am–to counter her 10 pm rappings–did cross my mind more than once).  Apparently she got a new job in Boston.  Score.

And just a week or two after she vamoosed, a new neighbor took her place.  One who always parks her car crooked in the garage, practically blocking the door to the stairwell beside it, and has two tiny flower boxes hanging from  her 25′ long porch.  But you know what she doesn’t do?  Beat down our door or interrupt our evenings.  So, clearly, I love  her.  Even though–technically–I’ve never seen her.

Being the stellar neighbor that I am, I’ve decided to kick it old school and show up with baked goods at her front door so that I can finally meet my new best bud (that I, in actuality, will spend zero time with).  I’m hoping the exchange will go something like this:

Me: Hello, new neighbor!  I brought you delicious chocolate chip cookies à la Alton Brown as a “welcome to the condo building”–from me (and my husband) to you.  They’re called “The Chewy,” and they absolutely live up to their name.  Seriously.  They’re the chewiest, yummiest cookie in all the land.

New Neighbor: Thank you!  I will never knock on your door (unless I am dying) and will never EVER consider turning up the bass on my stereo at 3 am. In fact, I’m a nun and have taken a vow of silence that I am allowed to break only once every ten years and am breaking now for this very conversation.  End communication.

I’ll let you know how it turns out.

cake of the month, part 4: tiramisu layer cake

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the meaning of life and other important matters, and I’ve come to an earth-shattering conclusion: getting a good hair cut is a lose-lose situation.  Because, as any woman or stylish guy knows, the money you spend on your haircut is directly proportional to how good your hair looks.  So, if you can’t afford the $90 a cut salon, your hair will probably look fair to middling at best.  And if you can afford a great haircut, you’ve just handed over a lump of cash that you could’ve used to buy a pair of very nice shoes or jeans WHICH would’ve lasted longer than two months.  See what I mean?  Lose-lose.

When I need a break from my “big thoughts,” I like to bake.  The measuring and weighing and levelling are soothing for my humongous brain.

So, I figured two birds, one stone: by baking a cake, I fulfill my monthly promise to you AND get to relax/stuff my face with cake.  Win-win.

I adore tiramisu, but I’ve always thought the lady finger arranging and espresso soaking seemed fussy, so I’ve avoided the many recipes I’ve come across over the years.  Until I found this one for tiramisu layer cake on AllRecipes.com.  With 988 reviews and a solid five-star rating, I figured I really couldn’t miss.

In the spirit of honest communication, I’ll level with you–there are quite a few steps in this recipe.  But many of the ingredients are pre-made, and the recipe really only requires simple baking skills (“put cake into the oven,” for example).  Best of all, you can whip the whole thing together in about an hour, which means you can confidently promise to provide dessert at that dinner party you were invited to, oh, three hours ago.  Lucky you!  But mostly, lucky them.

pumpkin cupcakes with pumpkin spiced cream cheese icing

I am the princess of discovering something five years after the rest of the general population and discussing it ad nauseum with people who were big fans…half a decade ago.  I am the princess because I earned this trait honestly from the king (i.e. my Dad).

Case in point, Nate and I just started watching The Tudors on Netflix streaming.  Now, The Tudors made its debut all the way back in 2007, when most normal people interested in that sort of historical drama started watching it.  And the series ended 2010.  Which means it was on the air and beloved by millions for four seasons.  Now, a whole year after the series ended, I am hooked and trying to get unsuspecting colleagues and friends to discuss each and every episode with me.

It goes a little something like this:

“Katie, have you had a chance to look at the agreement I left in your inbox?”

“Agreement, you say?  That reminds me of the agreement King Henry VIII tried to establish with the Spanish.  Boy was that a mess!  Did you see that episode, too?  If you haven’t, you should go home and check it out.  And then we can talk about it every day at lunch.”

“I’d love to except I’m moving to another floor effective tomorrow morning and my doctor just diagnosed me with selective mutism and deafness that will also start tomorrow.  When I’m near your cube.”

Apparently that selective mutism/deafness thing is going around, because I’m finding more and more people I come in contact with are suffering from it.  Sad.

Anyways, another trend that I am way, way behind on is pumpkin cupcakes.  I mean, I’ve had pumpkin bread and pumpkin pie, but I had never heard of pumpkin cupcakes until I came across them on Skinny Taste last week.  And how could I resist Pumpkin Cupcakes with Pumpkin Spiced Cream Cheese Icing?  Impossible.

Being a Skinny Taste creation, there are definitely some calorie-cutting measures involved, like using canned pumpkin instead of oil and eggs in the cupcake batter and 1/3 fat cream cheese in the icing.  But the resulting cupcake is so moist and pumpkiny and the icing so creamy, you’d never guess it was super, duper low in calories and fat.

In fact, these treats are so healthy, you can go through them like Henry VIII went through wives.  Minus the beheadings, of course.

chicken pot pie soup and crusty herb bread

If Fall was a fella, I’d kiss him.  If Fall was a song, I’d play it on loop.  If Fall was a language, I’d be fluent.  I. Love. Fall.

I’m obsessed with the boots, the jeans, the scarves.  I adore the jewel-tone oranges and turquoises and golds.  Most of all, I love the foods of Fall.  The pumpkin breads.  The apple pies.  And the endless soups.

Soups like this one: Chicken Pot Pie Soup from the great, health-focused blog, Skinny Taste.

I mean, have you ever heard of anything more brilliant? Soup that tastes exactly like the filling of a chicken pot pie, minus the biscuity crust.  It’s creamy and homey, but it won’t make you burst the zipper on that great new Missoni dress you bought at Target (if you were one of the 10 lucky humans that got one).  And hey, if you want your delicious soup to be accompanied by a little bit of carb action, you can make Crusty Herb Bread.  Using the recipe I wrote about a few weeks ago for French Boule, just add 1 teaspoon of dried thyme and half a teaspoon of dried rosemary to the water and salt at the beginning of the recipe.  It’s reminiscent of the fabulous foccacia you get at Macaroni Grill without all the added calories.

This soup is great for lunch or dinner and, I believe, is best enjoyed shared with a friend or a honey from a Thermos on a park bench in Vermont, mid-October.  Though I’ve also had it from a pasta bowl in my pajamas in front of the TV with great success.

black bean burger and kale chips

This week was stressful.

Not just oh-man-am-I-busy stressful.  Or boy-my-inbox-is-full! stressful.  It was if-one-more-person-asks-me-for-one-more-thing-or-if-I-get-one-more-email-or-one-more-phone-call-I’m-going-to-explode-all-over-this-damn-cubicle stressful.  I didn’t eat lunch until 2 pm (I eat breakfast at 5 am, so yeah, 2 pm is a wee bit late).  I had to schedule restroom breaks.  One morning, I stepped out for 10 minutes for a cup of coffee, and returned to three voice mails, 10 emails, and a sticky note on my keyboard saying, “So and so needs to talk to you.”  Yeah.  That kind of week.

In the past, these kinds of weeks would send me into a downward spiral of frozen pizza scarfing, Oreo eating, and Five Guys burger and french fries devouring.  But, amazingly, I held it together.   Instead of pizza, I had stuffed pita.  In lieu of Oreos, I ate small slices of Cherry Squares.  And instead of Five Guys, I chowed down on black bean burgers and kale chips.

Now, I’m definitely not one of those weirdos who says, “Oh, black bean burgers and kale chips taste EXACTLY like Five Guys.  You won’t be able to tell the difference!” Because you will.  There’s a big difference.  But that’s okay.  They’re delicious in their own way, and I can definitely say that they don’t taste nearly as healthy as they truly are.

The black bean burgers (courtesy of Annie’s Eats) are hearty and spicy and are perfectly complimented by your normal burger toppings (cheese, ketchup, pickles, yum).  And the kale chips are surprisingly addictive–crispy, flavorful and salty, you could eat a bowlful and still feel as light as a feather.

So treat yourself to a dinner that’s good and good for ya.  You won’t be disappointed.

cherry squares

When I was a little girl, I loved to play “tea time.”

I’d be dressed in my finest garb (typically an old flowery slip of my Mom’s worn as a strapless dress, a faux fur stole wrapped around my shoulders, and my white Easter hat and matching gloves), surrounded by a circle of my favorite stuffed animals and dolls.  The invite list rotated daily, except for the perpetual guest of honor, Dodar the Koala Bear.

Every guest would have his or her own Alice in Wonderland-themed tea cup and saucer, and I would pour just a spot of real tea (my Mom’s contribution to the party) from my tiny tea pot into each cup.  We (okay, just I) would talk about all sorts of hoity-toity things as we sipped and ate cookies, and then I would play music for the group on my Sesame Street record player (typically the Teddy Bear’s Picnic, but I would graciously entertain requests).  Clearly, it was a high-class affair.

Nowadays, tea time is a much more casual event.  Instead of bitty, pretty cups, I gulp my tea from giant mugs covered in college emblems and ironic sayings.  No longer dressed in finery, Nate (my usual tea compadre) is lucky if I’m not wearing a oversized t-shirt and running shorts.  In fact, the only thing that hasn’t changed over  all these years is the accompanying dessert.

Usually it’s just a shortbread cookie or some other unremarkable gnosh. Which is okay, really, considering I don’t need a slice of five-layer cake to round out a near-daily ritual like tea time.  But when I saw this recipe for Strawberry Squares on Skinny Taste, I knew I had found the perfect sidekick.

Buttery with dollops of cherry pie filling (the recipe calls for strawberry, but I’m a renegade) and dusted with powdered sugar, I really don’t think I’ve ever encountered a better tea accompaniment.  Cherry Squares are the Yin to Tea’s Yang.  The Ben to Tea’s Jerry.  The Danny Kaye to Tea’s Frank Sinatra.  You get the idea.

So the next time you’re having a gathering of friends (stuffed or otherwise), consider making Cherry Squares.  The non-stuffed ones will thank you, and the ones filled with cotton batting with need you to finish their helpings for them.  Win-win.

coconut ice cream and mango sorbet

On Tuesday, I mentioned hosting an all-out fiesta for Labor Day.  And I shared with you recipes for Carnitas and Pulled Chicken tacos, both of which I’m still dreaming about (yes, I dream about food–don’t judge).

What I neglected to mention was the absolute most important meal of that day (and any day, really)–dessert.  Which is crazy, considering the leading role dessert plays in my daily life.  In fact, if this were the SATs, I would say that dessert is to my evenings as “good butter” is to Ina Garten.  Critical.  Crucial.  Non-negotiable.

But dessert can’t always be four-layer chocolate cakes.  Sometimes, a girl just wants something light and dreamy.  And by “something,” of course I mean “somethings.”

Like Coconut Ice Cream and Mango Sorbet.  Because a dessert-lover shouldn’t have to choose.

The Coconut Ice Cream is everything it should be–creamy, sweet, and perfectly coconutty.  The Mango Sorbet is just as good, with unadulterated mango flavor and a small kick from the introduction of lime juice in the mix.  Combined in the same bowl they make sweet, sweet frozen music. Which is really worth a listen, if you ever get the chance.

carnitas and pulled chicken tacos

Happy Belated Labor Day!

What did you do on your day off?  (I hope you had the day off.  If you’re one of the thousands of worker bees, like nurses, vets, and waitresses, that don’t get Labor Day off, my apologies.  I’m sure everyone you encountered yesterday was happy you were there.)

I hosted a shindig at the Condo Far, Far Away with my partner in crime, Nate.  Pandora was set to “Feist Radio”, the sangria was flowing like water, and there was more than enough food to go around.

Food like gucamole, mango salsa, spicy Mexican dip, and corn and bean salad.  Food like Carnitas and Pulled Chicken (from the lovely blog, Good Life Eats).  It was a full-blown fiesta.

You might be wondering what the inspiration for this cuisine was, since I certainly don’t tend to gravitate towards south of the border flavors.  Well, naturally my first Labor Day inclination was burgers.  But knowing that said burgers would need to be made two at a time on our tiny stove-top grill, I thought it would be best to have something that could be prepared the day before and reheated the day of.  Thus the delicious crock-pot Carnitas and Pulled Chicken tacos.  Both recipes were totally new to me, but they were ridiculously simple to pull together and the flavors were absolutely great and perfectly complimented sides of jalapeno slices, sour cream, pepper jack cheese, gucamole, salsa, and wedges of lime.

Better still, going the crock-pot route meant that I could kick my feet up with our guests, pour myself a generous glass of sangria, and have seconds (okay, thirds) of the chips and dips.  Because, hey, it was Labor Day and relaxation was the name of the game.  And who am I to buck tradition?

sweet success

The other day I posted about my third cake of the month, Favorite Fudge Cake.  And while it was a truly delicious dessert, it lacked some height due to a tragic cake-pan related incident that destroyed two entire layers of cake.  (Don’t worry–they were repurposed as cake truffles.  Yum.)

For my chocolate-loving father-in-law’s birthday (hi, Farrell!), I knew I had to give this another go.  And, happily, all the layers made it to production.

So there you have it:  Favorite Fudge Cake the way God intended it.  Four-layered and spectacular.